I finally jumped on the Wordpress bandwagon.
Check me out over here:
www.bdkennedy.wordpress.com
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
DAY 223: Bad News.
My father called me at work this morning to tell me that my grandfather (peacefully) passed away in his sleep last night.
I'm fine. I wasn't super close to my grandfather... but he's family, so there's that undeniable bound. Even if he wasn't a major part of my life in recent years, it still feels weird to have him gone. Plus, this was pretty unexpected (at least on my end.) I guess my grandfather told my grandma that he was ready to go. Isn't it amazing how sometimes people just know?
Big thanks to Jeannie and A. Rod for coming over tonight with Herbage and non-dairy banana splits to keep me company and cheer me up. It worked :)
I bought a $606 plane ticket to fly home tomorrow night. I probably won't be blogging for the next couple of days. It feels sort of weired to be doing it right now.
I'll be back in NYC Thursday. Thanks to all who have/are sending me their well wishes. It is greatly appreciated.
Be back soon,
Brian
I'm fine. I wasn't super close to my grandfather... but he's family, so there's that undeniable bound. Even if he wasn't a major part of my life in recent years, it still feels weird to have him gone. Plus, this was pretty unexpected (at least on my end.) I guess my grandfather told my grandma that he was ready to go. Isn't it amazing how sometimes people just know?
Big thanks to Jeannie and A. Rod for coming over tonight with Herbage and non-dairy banana splits to keep me company and cheer me up. It worked :)
I bought a $606 plane ticket to fly home tomorrow night. I probably won't be blogging for the next couple of days. It feels sort of weired to be doing it right now.
I'll be back in NYC Thursday. Thanks to all who have/are sending me their well wishes. It is greatly appreciated.
Be back soon,
Brian
Saturday, April 26, 2008
DAY 222: The Jury Is Out... For Another Month.
Today was Judgement Day for me, Jeffrey and our slumbag landlord. (Slumbag = scumbag who refuses to fix anything, therefore forcing his tenants to live in slums-like conditions.)
Or at least, I thought it was supposed to be Judgement Day. But instead, it turned out to be Postponement Day.
Jeffrey and I were supposed to be at court at 9:30am. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but I guess I was sort of under the impression that it would be a little bit like Judge Judy, except a lot shorter and much less sassier.
When we arrived to the court room there was a line of people waiting outside. As it turns out, everyone’s court time was 9:30am. I felt like I was at an open casting call, hoping to land the role of “Tenant Who is in the Right.”
As I was going over my lines in my head, and sizing up my competition, we were all called into the court room. I was happy about this because that meant that we got to listen in on each other's cases. I love crazy people drama, and the majority of the people in that room looked like they knew how to bring it!
But much to my surprise, instead of it being "Twelve Angry Men," it was more "A Room Full Passive People."
The judge was a sweet, sensible Asian woman in a black tank top. She would have the lawyer and the tenant approach her desk, and then everyone would talk in hushed tones until a fair agreement was reached.
But before you could approach the judge's desk, you had to go outside and talk your landlord's lawyer, to see if you could resolve the situation on your own first.
Our landlord's lawyer was surprisingly non-slimy. He was a fast talker and had a chipped tooth that I couldn't stop staring at, but he actually sort of helped us out. He gave us the run down of how things were going to work, and then when we explained our situation to him, he told us not to settle. The fact the he had no idea what an absolute disaster our living situation was, was not surprising to me at all.
After the lawyer confided in us that he wasn't a big fan of our landlord either, all three of us went back in and talked to the judge. She gave us a real court date for next month and advised us to get a lawyer... which scared me. But I think legally, she had to advise that, because then she went on to say that 90% of tenants defend themselves, and that there was a resource room down the hall where we could pick up some reading materials on how not to get fucked over in court.
On our way out the lawyer pointed us in the direction of the resource room and told us his motto, which was, "If it's free, it's for me." Suddenly, it made perfect sense that this man worked for our landlord.
Jeffrey and I picked up some free pamphlets and were on our way. It was a beautiful day outside, and I wanted to be able to enjoy it... But I was still left with no answers and now even more to worry about. (Do we need a lawyer? Are we gonna get screwed if we try and represent ourselves? Should I wear a tie next time?)
However, instead of letting that ruin the rest of my day, I came up with my own motto: "If it's not stress-free, it's not for me." So I chose to put all thoughts of lawyers and court and unpaid rent and legal fees and chipped teeth out of my head.
The day was still young, and I didn't have to go back to work since I told them that I had to stay at home since the city workers were finishing putting in our new floor. (This was a half lie... they were putting in the floor, but I didn't really have to stay at home, because Jeffrey had taken the day off too.)
After spending some quality time outside in my newly cleaned up backyard, I went for a nice long walk in my neighborhood, where I proceed to hit up some of the dollar stores and thrift shops that I had surprisingly, yet to venture in.
I was happy to have a chill afternoon, as my evening was very busy. It started off with an impromptu mojito party in the backyard with Jeffrey, his straight couple (Jon & Soph), and my straight couple (Jeannie and A. Rod.)
I had to ditch out of the party before it got too wild, as I had my Harold Team audition in the city. I met up with Beta and some other peeps at Ye Ol' Sports Bar, before our 11pm(!) audition slot.
After our audition (which went just fine, thanks for asking) it was back to the bar to drink ourselves silly and not have worry about staying sober and clear-headed.
Yes, I wish that tonight my friends and I would have been able to celebrate the Slumbag getting his ass handed to him in court. But hopefully come next month, we'll have good excuse to throw another mojito party.
Or at least, I thought it was supposed to be Judgement Day. But instead, it turned out to be Postponement Day.
Jeffrey and I were supposed to be at court at 9:30am. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but I guess I was sort of under the impression that it would be a little bit like Judge Judy, except a lot shorter and much less sassier.
When we arrived to the court room there was a line of people waiting outside. As it turns out, everyone’s court time was 9:30am. I felt like I was at an open casting call, hoping to land the role of “Tenant Who is in the Right.”
As I was going over my lines in my head, and sizing up my competition, we were all called into the court room. I was happy about this because that meant that we got to listen in on each other's cases. I love crazy people drama, and the majority of the people in that room looked like they knew how to bring it!
But much to my surprise, instead of it being "Twelve Angry Men," it was more "A Room Full Passive People."
The judge was a sweet, sensible Asian woman in a black tank top. She would have the lawyer and the tenant approach her desk, and then everyone would talk in hushed tones until a fair agreement was reached.
But before you could approach the judge's desk, you had to go outside and talk your landlord's lawyer, to see if you could resolve the situation on your own first.
Our landlord's lawyer was surprisingly non-slimy. He was a fast talker and had a chipped tooth that I couldn't stop staring at, but he actually sort of helped us out. He gave us the run down of how things were going to work, and then when we explained our situation to him, he told us not to settle. The fact the he had no idea what an absolute disaster our living situation was, was not surprising to me at all.
After the lawyer confided in us that he wasn't a big fan of our landlord either, all three of us went back in and talked to the judge. She gave us a real court date for next month and advised us to get a lawyer... which scared me. But I think legally, she had to advise that, because then she went on to say that 90% of tenants defend themselves, and that there was a resource room down the hall where we could pick up some reading materials on how not to get fucked over in court.
On our way out the lawyer pointed us in the direction of the resource room and told us his motto, which was, "If it's free, it's for me." Suddenly, it made perfect sense that this man worked for our landlord.
Jeffrey and I picked up some free pamphlets and were on our way. It was a beautiful day outside, and I wanted to be able to enjoy it... But I was still left with no answers and now even more to worry about. (Do we need a lawyer? Are we gonna get screwed if we try and represent ourselves? Should I wear a tie next time?)
However, instead of letting that ruin the rest of my day, I came up with my own motto: "If it's not stress-free, it's not for me." So I chose to put all thoughts of lawyers and court and unpaid rent and legal fees and chipped teeth out of my head.
The day was still young, and I didn't have to go back to work since I told them that I had to stay at home since the city workers were finishing putting in our new floor. (This was a half lie... they were putting in the floor, but I didn't really have to stay at home, because Jeffrey had taken the day off too.)
After spending some quality time outside in my newly cleaned up backyard, I went for a nice long walk in my neighborhood, where I proceed to hit up some of the dollar stores and thrift shops that I had surprisingly, yet to venture in.
I was happy to have a chill afternoon, as my evening was very busy. It started off with an impromptu mojito party in the backyard with Jeffrey, his straight couple (Jon & Soph), and my straight couple (Jeannie and A. Rod.)
I had to ditch out of the party before it got too wild, as I had my Harold Team audition in the city. I met up with Beta and some other peeps at Ye Ol' Sports Bar, before our 11pm(!) audition slot.
After our audition (which went just fine, thanks for asking) it was back to the bar to drink ourselves silly and not have worry about staying sober and clear-headed.
Yes, I wish that tonight my friends and I would have been able to celebrate the Slumbag getting his ass handed to him in court. But hopefully come next month, we'll have good excuse to throw another mojito party.
Friday, April 25, 2008
DAY 221: Very, Very Extreme Home Makeover.
This morning the city workers finally arrived to work on Jeffrey's floor. And they meant business. They were supposed to show up at 12:30pm, but decided to come early at 8:30am. (Although technically, they were still 5 weeks late.)
Jeffrey still had a few things in his room that needed to be cleared out, but he had to run to work quick to open up shop. So, without even asking, the workers decided to help me out by grabbing Jeffrey's belongings and throwing everything into random piles in our living room and shoving things into his closet.
Before I could even finish taking apart his bed, two guys came in with their crow bars and picks, and started ripping up the floor. A decent sized split of wood hit me in the head. No one blinked. My fingers had never been so quick with a screwdriver before. I felt like I was in a race against time, and if I didn't have that bed disassembled fast enough, they were gonna rip the entire floor up with me still sitting on it.
Once Jeffrey got back, I left for work. I didn't get home until late tonight, and I was surprised to find a brand new floor in Jeffrey's room. I was also surprised to find a thick layer of sawdust over everything and in every room in our apartment.
The fun never ends!
And speaking of fun... tomorrow Jeffrey and I are headed off to court with our scumbag landlord to explain why we stopped paying rent. Hmmm... I wonder what our reasoning could be:
For more pics, and to find out what was going with our new floors while I was at work, be sure check out Jeffrey's blog.
Jeffrey still had a few things in his room that needed to be cleared out, but he had to run to work quick to open up shop. So, without even asking, the workers decided to help me out by grabbing Jeffrey's belongings and throwing everything into random piles in our living room and shoving things into his closet.
Before I could even finish taking apart his bed, two guys came in with their crow bars and picks, and started ripping up the floor. A decent sized split of wood hit me in the head. No one blinked. My fingers had never been so quick with a screwdriver before. I felt like I was in a race against time, and if I didn't have that bed disassembled fast enough, they were gonna rip the entire floor up with me still sitting on it.
Once Jeffrey got back, I left for work. I didn't get home until late tonight, and I was surprised to find a brand new floor in Jeffrey's room. I was also surprised to find a thick layer of sawdust over everything and in every room in our apartment.
The fun never ends!
And speaking of fun... tomorrow Jeffrey and I are headed off to court with our scumbag landlord to explain why we stopped paying rent. Hmmm... I wonder what our reasoning could be:
For more pics, and to find out what was going with our new floors while I was at work, be sure check out Jeffrey's blog.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
DAY 220: The Perfect Day.
Today was truly the perfect day. I started off my new Mon, Tue, Thurs-Sat work schedule this week, which meant that I had the day off.
I still got up early-ish (8am) but I had the luxury of lounging around in bed for another hour. I wanted to get ahead start on my day, but at an easy pace.
First I went to my local neighborhood coffee shop to get my daily caffeine fix and update my blog. I had plenty of more writing to do (like my one-man show, which I've been slacking on) but I had already made up my mind that today I was going to do whatever I felt like doing. And today, instead of spending all day inside, glued to my computer, I felt like being outside.
Of course, I still needed a little more computer time, so I grabbed a cup of joe to go, headed back home, and sat on my back patio enjoying the 70 degree weather.
Once I was all caught up on my e-mails, it was time to get dirty. I threw on my favorite old pair of cut-off jeans and a wife beater (which I only wear in the privacy of my own home, or while running) and I got to work on cleaning up our backyard.
Yes, I know it's kind of stupid to be cleaning out my backyard when Jeffrey and I are more than likely going to have to move before the summer starts. But I've come to the conclusion that we'll have at least one more month at our apartment, and I'll be damned if I'm not gonna use that backyard as much of possible in that time.
Cleaning out that bitch was definitely an all day project. Besides your normal dead grass and leaves... there was also a layer of peanut shells, hand rolled cigarettes, and glass littered across our yard. And garbage. Lots of random garbage, like 3 giant gasoline containers, rotten oranges, and a grill that wasn't there when we first moved in, but somehow showed up over the winter.
4 hours and 7 garbage bags later, things were finally shaping up back there. I can actually see the grass. Or at least, the few patches of grass in between the dirt.
Of course, today was only Phase One of Operation Backyard. But it was a damn good start. And it felt good to get it done. Whenever I feel like my life is a mess, cleaning up a more tangible mess always makes me feel better.
After working all afternoon in the backyard I went for a very satisfying, yet torturous, 30 minute run. I ran through Fort Green park, which I had been meaning to explore ever since moving into the hood last Sept.
I came home, cleaned myself up real good, and lounged around listening to music and playing on my laptop for awhile.
Once night had fallen (8pm, love that it's getting darker later now), my Boo came over and we made our way into the city for one of his friend's birthday party at an bar that is known to be a mecca for old gay men.
Now, I guess it wasn't a truly perfect day, since I didn't met any silver foxes. But there was one or two piece of old man eye candy for me to look at. There were also a few crazies for me to people watch.
After a few rounds I was on my way back home, but not before stopping for that perfect late-night, slightly-drunk piece of cheese pizza that is essential before getting on the train.
Once home, I really should have gone to bed, but it was a good TV night, so I allowed myself one show (Top Chef) from my DVR. I fell asleep twice trying to watch the last 5 minutes, which is always sort of an oddly comforting feeling. Like the TV is watching over me.
Truly, the non-existent Lord couldn't have ordered up a better day.
I heart Wednesdays!
I still got up early-ish (8am) but I had the luxury of lounging around in bed for another hour. I wanted to get ahead start on my day, but at an easy pace.
First I went to my local neighborhood coffee shop to get my daily caffeine fix and update my blog. I had plenty of more writing to do (like my one-man show, which I've been slacking on) but I had already made up my mind that today I was going to do whatever I felt like doing. And today, instead of spending all day inside, glued to my computer, I felt like being outside.
Of course, I still needed a little more computer time, so I grabbed a cup of joe to go, headed back home, and sat on my back patio enjoying the 70 degree weather.
Once I was all caught up on my e-mails, it was time to get dirty. I threw on my favorite old pair of cut-off jeans and a wife beater (which I only wear in the privacy of my own home, or while running) and I got to work on cleaning up our backyard.
Yes, I know it's kind of stupid to be cleaning out my backyard when Jeffrey and I are more than likely going to have to move before the summer starts. But I've come to the conclusion that we'll have at least one more month at our apartment, and I'll be damned if I'm not gonna use that backyard as much of possible in that time.
Cleaning out that bitch was definitely an all day project. Besides your normal dead grass and leaves... there was also a layer of peanut shells, hand rolled cigarettes, and glass littered across our yard. And garbage. Lots of random garbage, like 3 giant gasoline containers, rotten oranges, and a grill that wasn't there when we first moved in, but somehow showed up over the winter.
4 hours and 7 garbage bags later, things were finally shaping up back there. I can actually see the grass. Or at least, the few patches of grass in between the dirt.
Of course, today was only Phase One of Operation Backyard. But it was a damn good start. And it felt good to get it done. Whenever I feel like my life is a mess, cleaning up a more tangible mess always makes me feel better.
After working all afternoon in the backyard I went for a very satisfying, yet torturous, 30 minute run. I ran through Fort Green park, which I had been meaning to explore ever since moving into the hood last Sept.
I came home, cleaned myself up real good, and lounged around listening to music and playing on my laptop for awhile.
Once night had fallen (8pm, love that it's getting darker later now), my Boo came over and we made our way into the city for one of his friend's birthday party at an bar that is known to be a mecca for old gay men.
Now, I guess it wasn't a truly perfect day, since I didn't met any silver foxes. But there was one or two piece of old man eye candy for me to look at. There were also a few crazies for me to people watch.
After a few rounds I was on my way back home, but not before stopping for that perfect late-night, slightly-drunk piece of cheese pizza that is essential before getting on the train.
Once home, I really should have gone to bed, but it was a good TV night, so I allowed myself one show (Top Chef) from my DVR. I fell asleep twice trying to watch the last 5 minutes, which is always sort of an oddly comforting feeling. Like the TV is watching over me.
Truly, the non-existent Lord couldn't have ordered up a better day.
I heart Wednesdays!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
DAY 219: I’ve Got A New Attitude... Or, Things Are About To Get Real Heavy Up In Here.
Okay, I’m sure by now you’re sick of hearing me bitch and moan about how depressed I’ve been. But just know that by the end of this post, things get better.
This morning while making my lunch for work, I dropped a glob of hummus onto the bag of bread that was out on the counter, and I started to cry. Well, I don’t really cry. I just make an ugly face and get all misty-eyed. I think maybe half of a tear came out.
This has to be more than detoxing from the drugs I did this past weekend. I’m detoxing from my life as well.
I consider myself to be in a pretty happy place right now. But then, after a fabulous, carefree weekend in the country, I came back to city life to realize that I want more than what I have.
I can be a happy person, I know it’s possible. I just experienced it out in the middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania. But back in the real world I’d rather be negative and cynical, because “it’s my thing.”
I have a lot of issues that need resolving:
1. My job. I hate it. I always have. I feel trapped. I know what I want to do with my life, but I don’t know how to get there. I’m starting to feel like this fantasy world I’ve created in my head of being a successful writer will never come true. Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life working jobs that I truly despise and acting like a cunt at them to prove that I don’t belong there?
2. My apartment. I don’t know how much money we’re going to owe or how soon we’ll have to move. I’m afraid the answers are “more than I thought” and “sooner than expected.” I guess this one is out of my hands and up to the fate of our hopefully fair and tenant-friendly judicial system.
3. My relationship with men. Riding home on the subway today I came to realize that I couldn’t remember that last guy I kissed, let alone the last guy that I kissed and actually wanted to kiss. Sure I’ve hooked up recently, but it was all hook-up, no romantic foreplay. On top of that, I now have a major infatuation that I wish I didn’t have, because the feelings are so real that it scares me too much to act upon it. I may be a man, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a pussy, or rather, act like one.
DIOS MIO!
But as promised, things get better...
When I got home from work today, I did something that I haven’t done for 5 months: I went for a run. My goal was to keep it short and make it past 3 Dolly songs on my iPod. But being a glutton for punishment, I doubled it, and lasted for 6 Dollys.
Sure, it was only a 20 minute run. But it was the ass kicking I needed to remind myself that I don’t have to lay around all day watching TV and feeling sorry for myself. Is taking up running again going to fix all of my problems? No. But I predict it will help me become at least 20% less mentally unbalanced.
After my after-run shower, I felt great. Helping me feel like there was reason to live still, were Jeannie and A. Rod who came over for our Wednesday Night Supper Club on a Tuesday.
All hope is not lost, dear readers! Sure, I still don’t have the solutions to any of my problems. But I’ve decided to stop wallowing. Maybe it’s foolish and unrealistic of me, but for the time being, I’m going to pretend that in the end, everything is gonna be alright.
I remember growing up, my parents used to make my siblings and I listen to this series on tape that was all about teaching kids how to stay positive. The main character was some sort of alien creature, who appeared to an all-American brother and sister duo, and taught them to look on the bright side of every situation. Even at the ripe old age of 10, I thought it was a crock of shit.
But now, 18 plus years later, I’m starting to think that maybe that kooky, kid-friendly alien that told me I had the power to chose whether or not I wanted to be happy, was on to something.
It’s true, I’m not getting any younger, and maybe it’s my perception that life isn’t getting any better. But feeling shitty about that definitely isn’t helping any.
I need to readjust my ‘tude and start looking at all the good things I have. And believe me, there are plenty.
Awwww. Now, don’t we all feel better?
If not, go hug someone. It helps.
This morning while making my lunch for work, I dropped a glob of hummus onto the bag of bread that was out on the counter, and I started to cry. Well, I don’t really cry. I just make an ugly face and get all misty-eyed. I think maybe half of a tear came out.
This has to be more than detoxing from the drugs I did this past weekend. I’m detoxing from my life as well.
I consider myself to be in a pretty happy place right now. But then, after a fabulous, carefree weekend in the country, I came back to city life to realize that I want more than what I have.
I can be a happy person, I know it’s possible. I just experienced it out in the middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania. But back in the real world I’d rather be negative and cynical, because “it’s my thing.”
I have a lot of issues that need resolving:
1. My job. I hate it. I always have. I feel trapped. I know what I want to do with my life, but I don’t know how to get there. I’m starting to feel like this fantasy world I’ve created in my head of being a successful writer will never come true. Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life working jobs that I truly despise and acting like a cunt at them to prove that I don’t belong there?
2. My apartment. I don’t know how much money we’re going to owe or how soon we’ll have to move. I’m afraid the answers are “more than I thought” and “sooner than expected.” I guess this one is out of my hands and up to the fate of our hopefully fair and tenant-friendly judicial system.
3. My relationship with men. Riding home on the subway today I came to realize that I couldn’t remember that last guy I kissed, let alone the last guy that I kissed and actually wanted to kiss. Sure I’ve hooked up recently, but it was all hook-up, no romantic foreplay. On top of that, I now have a major infatuation that I wish I didn’t have, because the feelings are so real that it scares me too much to act upon it. I may be a man, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a pussy, or rather, act like one.
DIOS MIO!
But as promised, things get better...
When I got home from work today, I did something that I haven’t done for 5 months: I went for a run. My goal was to keep it short and make it past 3 Dolly songs on my iPod. But being a glutton for punishment, I doubled it, and lasted for 6 Dollys.
Sure, it was only a 20 minute run. But it was the ass kicking I needed to remind myself that I don’t have to lay around all day watching TV and feeling sorry for myself. Is taking up running again going to fix all of my problems? No. But I predict it will help me become at least 20% less mentally unbalanced.
After my after-run shower, I felt great. Helping me feel like there was reason to live still, were Jeannie and A. Rod who came over for our Wednesday Night Supper Club on a Tuesday.
All hope is not lost, dear readers! Sure, I still don’t have the solutions to any of my problems. But I’ve decided to stop wallowing. Maybe it’s foolish and unrealistic of me, but for the time being, I’m going to pretend that in the end, everything is gonna be alright.
I remember growing up, my parents used to make my siblings and I listen to this series on tape that was all about teaching kids how to stay positive. The main character was some sort of alien creature, who appeared to an all-American brother and sister duo, and taught them to look on the bright side of every situation. Even at the ripe old age of 10, I thought it was a crock of shit.
But now, 18 plus years later, I’m starting to think that maybe that kooky, kid-friendly alien that told me I had the power to chose whether or not I wanted to be happy, was on to something.
It’s true, I’m not getting any younger, and maybe it’s my perception that life isn’t getting any better. But feeling shitty about that definitely isn’t helping any.
I need to readjust my ‘tude and start looking at all the good things I have. And believe me, there are plenty.
Awwww. Now, don’t we all feel better?
If not, go hug someone. It helps.
Monday, April 21, 2008
DAY 218: Still Recovering.
Unfortunately, I'm still feeling pretty busted up and beat down after my weekend of fun. I considered calling in sick to work to day, but I figured if I didn't try to rejoin the world of the living, I would only spend all day in bed feeling depressed and sorry for myself. I think that might actually have been better...
Work was slow and I was caught up on everything, so all I had to do all day long was stare at the clock and think about how shitty my body felt and how depressing it was to be back at work and not out on a farm, worry-free in Pennsylvania. I was a half hour late and left an hour early.
If you don't want to read about poop, you should probably skip to the next paragraph. Another unfortunate side effect from my comedown, is that my b-hole seems to think it's back on the Master Cleanse. Seriously, I can't stop and it's not pretty.
I am feeling a little better now that I've been at home lounging in bed all night. And by the time I wake up tomorrow morning, I will not have put anything bad in my body for at least 48 hours. Well, that is if you don't count the Girl Scout Cookies I had at work today.
After this horrible 2 day detox from too much party, I promise to be a good boy for quite some time. Or at least until I feel 100% better and my brain tricks my body into forgetting what I feel like right now.
Work was slow and I was caught up on everything, so all I had to do all day long was stare at the clock and think about how shitty my body felt and how depressing it was to be back at work and not out on a farm, worry-free in Pennsylvania. I was a half hour late and left an hour early.
If you don't want to read about poop, you should probably skip to the next paragraph. Another unfortunate side effect from my comedown, is that my b-hole seems to think it's back on the Master Cleanse. Seriously, I can't stop and it's not pretty.
I am feeling a little better now that I've been at home lounging in bed all night. And by the time I wake up tomorrow morning, I will not have put anything bad in my body for at least 48 hours. Well, that is if you don't count the Girl Scout Cookies I had at work today.
After this horrible 2 day detox from too much party, I promise to be a good boy for quite some time. Or at least until I feel 100% better and my brain tricks my body into forgetting what I feel like right now.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
DAY 217: Mary Land, Day 3.
I'm in a very ugly place right now.
This morning we got up, our bodies hating us for what we did to them last night. Some people ate breakfast, but the only thing I could force down was a banana and two strawberries.
From 12-4pm we all sat around the study, curled up in chairs, paralyzed in rockers, and passed out on the floor.
The car ride home was two hours of hell. I did my best not to fall asleep, as I did not want to be rude to Chris, who was brave enough to drive us home.
We finally got back around 6:30. I wanted to take a nap, but my body would not shut down now that I needed it to. There is absolutely nothing I want to do right now. Even my normal addictions: TV, internet, food, do not interest me.
I've been sitting in my room listening to all of my Radiohead CDs and I think I'm going crazy.
Don't do hard drugs kids. Your body, which felt so good the night before, will seek revenge the next day. Especially once you get to the late end of your 20's.
This morning we got up, our bodies hating us for what we did to them last night. Some people ate breakfast, but the only thing I could force down was a banana and two strawberries.
From 12-4pm we all sat around the study, curled up in chairs, paralyzed in rockers, and passed out on the floor.
The car ride home was two hours of hell. I did my best not to fall asleep, as I did not want to be rude to Chris, who was brave enough to drive us home.
We finally got back around 6:30. I wanted to take a nap, but my body would not shut down now that I needed it to. There is absolutely nothing I want to do right now. Even my normal addictions: TV, internet, food, do not interest me.
I've been sitting in my room listening to all of my Radiohead CDs and I think I'm going crazy.
Don't do hard drugs kids. Your body, which felt so good the night before, will seek revenge the next day. Especially once you get to the late end of your 20's.
DAY 216: Mary Land, Day 2.
We didn't sleep in too late Day 2, because we had a lot of shopping to do. After a wonderful pancake breakfast, we were out of the house by 11:15am, and on the road to some delightful shopping.
Our first stop was the Dollar General Store, where I bought a giant container of bubbles, a yellow plastic recorder, and a set of Pretty Ponies for $1 each. Jeffrey went a little coo-coo and bought a bunch of Christian paraphernalia, including two baseball caps with the Jesus fish on them.
Our second stop was the Salvation Army, which I could have spent hours in. But we were on a tight shopping schedule (since we had drugs waiting for us back at the house), so I only managed to score an awesome Judds record, two old school Hardy Boys hardcover novels, and a amazing woman's blouse that was too small for me, but too ridiculous not to buy. Grand total: $3.08.
Next we went to Value City, which I became the fucking mayor of. I went a little crazy in the kitchen department, buying 2 loaf pans, 3 shallow cake pans, and 2 cooler racks... all for $3 each. I also bought a 2qt pot for $12. I probably didn't need all that, but I guarantee that everything would have been 3 times as much at the Bed, Bath & Beyond on 6th Ave. And I am not one to let a good deal pass me by.
For our last few stops we hit up some local yard sales. I purchased a clear, 60's umbrella for 50 cents, a red bell with a lobster on top for $1, and a Virgin Mary nite lite for 50 cents.
Back at the house we innocently played outside. There was kick ball, croquet, frisbee, bike riding, and coloring in the garage. Then we did a bunch of drugs and stayed up all night.
And now, whether you want it our not, here is a slide show from today. Surprisingly, all of these pics were pre-drugs:
Our first stop was the Dollar General Store, where I bought a giant container of bubbles, a yellow plastic recorder, and a set of Pretty Ponies for $1 each. Jeffrey went a little coo-coo and bought a bunch of Christian paraphernalia, including two baseball caps with the Jesus fish on them.
Our second stop was the Salvation Army, which I could have spent hours in. But we were on a tight shopping schedule (since we had drugs waiting for us back at the house), so I only managed to score an awesome Judds record, two old school Hardy Boys hardcover novels, and a amazing woman's blouse that was too small for me, but too ridiculous not to buy. Grand total: $3.08.
Next we went to Value City, which I became the fucking mayor of. I went a little crazy in the kitchen department, buying 2 loaf pans, 3 shallow cake pans, and 2 cooler racks... all for $3 each. I also bought a 2qt pot for $12. I probably didn't need all that, but I guarantee that everything would have been 3 times as much at the Bed, Bath & Beyond on 6th Ave. And I am not one to let a good deal pass me by.
For our last few stops we hit up some local yard sales. I purchased a clear, 60's umbrella for 50 cents, a red bell with a lobster on top for $1, and a Virgin Mary nite lite for 50 cents.
Back at the house we innocently played outside. There was kick ball, croquet, frisbee, bike riding, and coloring in the garage. Then we did a bunch of drugs and stayed up all night.
And now, whether you want it our not, here is a slide show from today. Surprisingly, all of these pics were pre-drugs:
Saturday, April 19, 2008
DAY 215: Mary Land, Day 1.
This morning Jeffery and I showed up to Housing Court and got a court date for next Friday morning. Our slum land lord is claiming that we owe him $3,600 for 2 months of unpaid rent, late fees and legal fees. Best case scenario, we don't have to pay him a cent and the court gives us one more (rent free) month to find a new place to live. We have so much shit on him that I can't imagine the court making us pay more than half of what he says we owe. We'll see.
After court I headed into work and was surprisingly early, thanks to arriving at the court house at 9am. Work was pretty slow, which was good because I finally got caught up on everything, which meant that I could leave on time to head out for Mary Land.
For those of you who don't know, Mary Land is my dream land. It is a farm house out in the Poconos in Pennsylvania, owned by my friend Chris, who has more kitsch than I have ever had in all my life (if you can imagine.)
We got to Mary Land around 8:30pm. We made a healthy dinner of cooked veggies for all the non-meat eaters, and steak for the carnivores. We then smoked enough Mary Jane to melt all of my troubles away. It was a beautiful spring night, spent outside, sitting around the fire pit, underneath the stars, where the only sound for miles was the sound of horny frogs mating.
We did a little role play around the fire where we pretended that Jeffrey was our cool, hippy-dippy, drug-friendly camp consoler, and it was our last night of camp. My character was Rebbecca, the only girl who didn't make any friends over the summer, and wouldn't stop making up stories about her rich dad.
I went to bed very, very relaxed, and hoping that the weekend would never end.
After court I headed into work and was surprisingly early, thanks to arriving at the court house at 9am. Work was pretty slow, which was good because I finally got caught up on everything, which meant that I could leave on time to head out for Mary Land.
For those of you who don't know, Mary Land is my dream land. It is a farm house out in the Poconos in Pennsylvania, owned by my friend Chris, who has more kitsch than I have ever had in all my life (if you can imagine.)
We got to Mary Land around 8:30pm. We made a healthy dinner of cooked veggies for all the non-meat eaters, and steak for the carnivores. We then smoked enough Mary Jane to melt all of my troubles away. It was a beautiful spring night, spent outside, sitting around the fire pit, underneath the stars, where the only sound for miles was the sound of horny frogs mating.
We did a little role play around the fire where we pretended that Jeffrey was our cool, hippy-dippy, drug-friendly camp consoler, and it was our last night of camp. My character was Rebbecca, the only girl who didn't make any friends over the summer, and wouldn't stop making up stories about her rich dad.
I went to bed very, very relaxed, and hoping that the weekend would never end.
Friday, April 18, 2008
DAY 214: A Much Needed Getaway.
Tomorrow morning Jeffrey and I are headed off to housing court, because our jerk-ass landlord is finally taking some action against our free loading, no-rent paying asses. He sent us an official, certified-by-the-city letter that said we had 5 days to respond. Of course he didn't send it until 3 days after the 5 days had expired. Also, he didn't really send it. He just stuck it to the outside of our door.
After that, I have to head into work to continue to have my soul sucked out of me. Work has been slightly better because my archenemy in the basement has been on vacation all week. Except yesterday she called and talked to me, ruining my vacation from her. She also called me sweetie, which makes my skin crawl.
Let's see, what else can I complain about? Turbo Tax e-mailed me to tell me that my tax return was rejected. (Turns out my fat fingers mistyped my social security number.)
I have a certain improv audition coming up that I'm dreading already.
Oh yeah, and I've convinced myself that my teeth are rotting out of my head.
But fear not... there is reason to live!
This weekend Jeffrey and I have been invited back to Mary Land!
My blog won't be updated again until late Sunday.
Don't miss me too much.
XOXO,
Brian
After that, I have to head into work to continue to have my soul sucked out of me. Work has been slightly better because my archenemy in the basement has been on vacation all week. Except yesterday she called and talked to me, ruining my vacation from her. She also called me sweetie, which makes my skin crawl.
Let's see, what else can I complain about? Turbo Tax e-mailed me to tell me that my tax return was rejected. (Turns out my fat fingers mistyped my social security number.)
I have a certain improv audition coming up that I'm dreading already.
Oh yeah, and I've convinced myself that my teeth are rotting out of my head.
But fear not... there is reason to live!
This weekend Jeffrey and I have been invited back to Mary Land!
My blog won't be updated again until late Sunday.
Don't miss me too much.
XOXO,
Brian
Thursday, April 17, 2008
DAY 212: God Bless America.
Tonight Jeanne and A. Rod had to cancel on our regular Wednesday Night TV Dinner Club... which is fine, because my next culinary creation involves rice. And guess what? Apparently I don't know how to cook rice.
For dinner the past two nights I have practiced my rice making skillz, and as it turns out, I can't make one of the simplest dishes known to man. It's just rice and water. Yet somehow, I manage to screw that up. It's undercooked and wet, which makes me think that I should leave it in longer... but it's also sticking to the pan like crazy, which makes me think I should take it off the stove. I'm afraid to stir it, because you're supposed to avoid doing that if at all possible. And I can't help but laugh when the directions tell me to "fluff" the rice.
People always ask me if I'm part Asian. So much so, that's I've often wondered if my mom had yellow fever and cheated on my dad with the Asian mailman. But, I guess this is finally proof that I'm 100% full-blooded American.
And speaking off...
THANK YOU AMERICA!!!!!!!!!! For finally voting off that no-talent-ass-clown Kristy Lee Cook!
For dinner the past two nights I have practiced my rice making skillz, and as it turns out, I can't make one of the simplest dishes known to man. It's just rice and water. Yet somehow, I manage to screw that up. It's undercooked and wet, which makes me think that I should leave it in longer... but it's also sticking to the pan like crazy, which makes me think I should take it off the stove. I'm afraid to stir it, because you're supposed to avoid doing that if at all possible. And I can't help but laugh when the directions tell me to "fluff" the rice.
People always ask me if I'm part Asian. So much so, that's I've often wondered if my mom had yellow fever and cheated on my dad with the Asian mailman. But, I guess this is finally proof that I'm 100% full-blooded American.
And speaking off...
THANK YOU AMERICA!!!!!!!!!! For finally voting off that no-talent-ass-clown Kristy Lee Cook!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
DAY 211: 3 Funny Things.
1. Tonight, while watching the finale of "The Biggest Loser," I finished baking off the rest of the leftover cookie dough from Sunday's "Get Baked & Bake" gathering. So while ex-fat people celebrated losing weight, I was shoveling in sugar cookies and frosting.
2. On my subway ride home from work, I got stuck standing in front of a crazy person. At first I honestly thought that the man was mentally disabled, due to his incessant ramble of nonsense words. I began to really worry when he started rubbing his crotch and it made a crinkly noise. But never fear, he was just a drunk who wanted to pull his bottle of whiskey (concealed in a paper bag) out of the crotch of his pants.
3. Facebook now allows you to adopt babies. Thanks to my deep, rich sense of irony... I adopted one. Please meet Mayonnessa:
Here's the back story I gave her:
Mayonnessa's mother was a crackwhore who lived behind my laundromat. I found little Mayo in a dumpster with a McDonald's wrapper that said "Stay here babye! I's off 2 look fer crack!!!"
Facebook gives you the option of letting other people help take care of your baby. Which is exactly what I'm doing. I ain't doin' shit fer that baby, cuz it ain't dun nothin' fer me!
2. On my subway ride home from work, I got stuck standing in front of a crazy person. At first I honestly thought that the man was mentally disabled, due to his incessant ramble of nonsense words. I began to really worry when he started rubbing his crotch and it made a crinkly noise. But never fear, he was just a drunk who wanted to pull his bottle of whiskey (concealed in a paper bag) out of the crotch of his pants.
3. Facebook now allows you to adopt babies. Thanks to my deep, rich sense of irony... I adopted one. Please meet Mayonnessa:
Here's the back story I gave her:
Mayonnessa's mother was a crackwhore who lived behind my laundromat. I found little Mayo in a dumpster with a McDonald's wrapper that said "Stay here babye! I's off 2 look fer crack!!!"
Facebook gives you the option of letting other people help take care of your baby. Which is exactly what I'm doing. I ain't doin' shit fer that baby, cuz it ain't dun nothin' fer me!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
DAY 210: Don't Be Mad, Uncle Sam!
Remember when I said I was gonna do my taxes early this year? Yeah, I don't either.
It is now 2:00AM, which means that technically, it is already April 15th and my taxes are due.
I should be freaking out right now... but instead, I'm getting ready for bed. Come tomorrow, I'll have a much clearer head and should be able to tackle the moral quandary that lies before me: Do I **ryhmes with ______** on my taxes?
I'm sure Uncle Sam has bigger fish to fry than some lowly Pharmacy Tech who doesn't make that much to begin with anyhow, right? RIGHT???
Okay, maybe I am freaking out, but just a little bit.
MORNING UPDATE:
This morning I woke up early, downloaded the new Mariah Carey album, and did my taxes.
Should I be worried about Uncle Sam tracking me down? To quote Mimi's last album, I'm just gonna Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake it off.
It is now 2:00AM, which means that technically, it is already April 15th and my taxes are due.
I should be freaking out right now... but instead, I'm getting ready for bed. Come tomorrow, I'll have a much clearer head and should be able to tackle the moral quandary that lies before me: Do I **ryhmes with ______** on my taxes?
I'm sure Uncle Sam has bigger fish to fry than some lowly Pharmacy Tech who doesn't make that much to begin with anyhow, right? RIGHT???
Okay, maybe I am freaking out, but just a little bit.
MORNING UPDATE:
This morning I woke up early, downloaded the new Mariah Carey album, and did my taxes.
Should I be worried about Uncle Sam tracking me down? To quote Mimi's last album, I'm just gonna Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake it off.
Monday, April 14, 2008
DAY 209: Shit Cookies!
Tonight Jeffrey and I hosted a "Get Baked & Bake" party with his straight couple (Jon and Soph) and my straight couple (Jeannie and A. Rod.) It was like a double date, but with six people.
But before company came over, disaster in the form of a toilet tornado struck at 947 Bedford Ave.
Our toilet has been a ticking time bomb for the past few months. Every time you flush, you have to say a little pray that everything will go down. Well this morning, Jeffrey forget his prayers. Which means that he got to spend the rest of his afternoon cleaning up Shitsville, USA.
I did my part to help, I ran to Home Depot to buy a toilet snake. Except the toilet snakes were called augers, and they cost anywhere from $60-$120. So instead I grabbed a sink snake and a new plunger.
At the register I got into a fight with the cashier, who tried to tell me that she couldn't sell me the snake, because it didn't have a barcode. As we waited 5+ minutes for a price check, the cashier looked at me and said, "I hope your not upset. You seem upset." I wanted to explain to her the it was my shitter, not her that I was mad at... but I just didn't feel comfortable having potty talk with my local Home Depot cashier.
Back at the house, Jeffrey went through a 12 step process to clean the bathroom, emerging every once in awhile for fresh air, and to chat with our guests, who were told to use their bathroom at home before coming over.
Once all the shit was back in the toilet where it belonged, it was cookie time! I had decided to save my pot cookie until after all the mixing was done, which was a wise decision since, even sober, I was having problems following the directions. For the frosting, I tried to add 7 cups of milk, when the recipe called for 7 tablespoons. Oops. Me stupid.
Jeannie and I finally had a chance to use all the random cookie cutters that I had bought us for Christmas: a giraffe, the state of MN, a wiener dog, a howler monkey, a fire hydrant. I also had a lot of seasonal cookie cutter that we got creative with.
Jeannie turned her witch into Smurfette:
A. Rod made his tombstone into a tongue and mustache:
Our "Get Baked & Bake" party was a success, but it also taught us an important life lesson: Never put that much sugar in front of a bunch of stoned people. We all overdid it and went into an immediate diabetic sugar coma.
And now back to more poop talk:
After I took those pictures, we were flipping through Jeffrey's camera to look at them, and we came across some pictures that Jeffrey took of the clogged toilet. Siiiiicccccccckkkk.
I was thinking about linking one of those pics on here, because I know that some of my readers (Alexa) would want to see it... But no matter how funny I think poop is, I've decided to keep whatever little dignity I have left on this blog.
(For the curious, just imagine what shit soup would look like, and then multiple that by 1,000,000.)
Mmmmmmm, shit & cookies.
But before company came over, disaster in the form of a toilet tornado struck at 947 Bedford Ave.
Our toilet has been a ticking time bomb for the past few months. Every time you flush, you have to say a little pray that everything will go down. Well this morning, Jeffrey forget his prayers. Which means that he got to spend the rest of his afternoon cleaning up Shitsville, USA.
I did my part to help, I ran to Home Depot to buy a toilet snake. Except the toilet snakes were called augers, and they cost anywhere from $60-$120. So instead I grabbed a sink snake and a new plunger.
At the register I got into a fight with the cashier, who tried to tell me that she couldn't sell me the snake, because it didn't have a barcode. As we waited 5+ minutes for a price check, the cashier looked at me and said, "I hope your not upset. You seem upset." I wanted to explain to her the it was my shitter, not her that I was mad at... but I just didn't feel comfortable having potty talk with my local Home Depot cashier.
Back at the house, Jeffrey went through a 12 step process to clean the bathroom, emerging every once in awhile for fresh air, and to chat with our guests, who were told to use their bathroom at home before coming over.
Once all the shit was back in the toilet where it belonged, it was cookie time! I had decided to save my pot cookie until after all the mixing was done, which was a wise decision since, even sober, I was having problems following the directions. For the frosting, I tried to add 7 cups of milk, when the recipe called for 7 tablespoons. Oops. Me stupid.
Jeannie and I finally had a chance to use all the random cookie cutters that I had bought us for Christmas: a giraffe, the state of MN, a wiener dog, a howler monkey, a fire hydrant. I also had a lot of seasonal cookie cutter that we got creative with.
Jeannie turned her witch into Smurfette:
A. Rod made his tombstone into a tongue and mustache:
Our "Get Baked & Bake" party was a success, but it also taught us an important life lesson: Never put that much sugar in front of a bunch of stoned people. We all overdid it and went into an immediate diabetic sugar coma.
And now back to more poop talk:
After I took those pictures, we were flipping through Jeffrey's camera to look at them, and we came across some pictures that Jeffrey took of the clogged toilet. Siiiiicccccccckkkk.
I was thinking about linking one of those pics on here, because I know that some of my readers (Alexa) would want to see it... But no matter how funny I think poop is, I've decided to keep whatever little dignity I have left on this blog.
(For the curious, just imagine what shit soup would look like, and then multiple that by 1,000,000.)
Mmmmmmm, shit & cookies.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
DAY 208: First Up On My "To Do" List: Get A Life!
After working six days in a row, I came home in a rather sour mood tonight. Making matter worse, I had no plans for my Saturday night.
Truth be told, I was exhausted and didn't feel like going out anyhow. But still, the thought of sitting around and doing nothing all night was too depressing to take. So instead, I did one of my favorite things in the world: I made a "To Do" list.
I'm sick, I know. But I love setting goals for myself and then accomplishing them... no matter how easy they may be.
Tonight's list, to be finished before Jeffrey and I have company over tomorrow evening, was comprised of the following tasks:
*DO TAXES!!!!!
*Make cookie dough
*Make frosting
*Clean room
*Clean kitchen
*Clean bathroom
*Update TV blog
*Update regular blog
*Write new monologue for one-person show
*Sweep up puddle out front.
Tonight I managed to clean my room and the kitchen throughly. Dusting, sweeping and heavy moping were involved. I also made a double batch of cookie dough for tomorrow's "Get Baked & Bake" party. I started my taxes for the second time, but then got discouraged when it told me I owed them money again.
Even though I feel like I got a lot done, I still probably won't finish everything by tomorrow. However, I won't feel too bad because I did accomplish something that wasn't even on my list: I finally made my first secret-on-a-postcard to mail in to postsecret.com. I'd tell you what my secret is, but then it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it?
Truth be told, I was exhausted and didn't feel like going out anyhow. But still, the thought of sitting around and doing nothing all night was too depressing to take. So instead, I did one of my favorite things in the world: I made a "To Do" list.
I'm sick, I know. But I love setting goals for myself and then accomplishing them... no matter how easy they may be.
Tonight's list, to be finished before Jeffrey and I have company over tomorrow evening, was comprised of the following tasks:
*DO TAXES!!!!!
*Make cookie dough
*Make frosting
*Clean room
*Clean kitchen
*Clean bathroom
*Update TV blog
*Update regular blog
*Write new monologue for one-person show
*Sweep up puddle out front.
Tonight I managed to clean my room and the kitchen throughly. Dusting, sweeping and heavy moping were involved. I also made a double batch of cookie dough for tomorrow's "Get Baked & Bake" party. I started my taxes for the second time, but then got discouraged when it told me I owed them money again.
Even though I feel like I got a lot done, I still probably won't finish everything by tomorrow. However, I won't feel too bad because I did accomplish something that wasn't even on my list: I finally made my first secret-on-a-postcard to mail in to postsecret.com. I'd tell you what my secret is, but then it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it?
Saturday, April 12, 2008
DAY 207: My Sister, My Savior.
Yesterday I talked to my sister on the phone and she gave me some very good news: She's planning to come visit me this summer! What made the news even good-er is that her trip is going to overlap with my brother's!!!
Now, I am truly flattered that my brother has taken an active interest in my life and that he wants come out and visit me in NY. But I am also truly terrified. We don't have much in common: I don't understand how someone could watch college sports and enjoy it, and he doesn't understand why someone would want to watch Project Runway. At least with my sister coming, he'll have someone to talk to about mortgage rates, while I'll have someone to make fart noises with.
Now my only concern is where I'm going to fit everyone. My sister is also bringing her boyfriend (another sports fiend.) Lord knows where I'll be living come July, but hopefully there's enough room for everyone. Because the point of my sister coming for a visit is too make everything less awkward... not more awkward by forcing us to all spoon together in my bed.
Now, I am truly flattered that my brother has taken an active interest in my life and that he wants come out and visit me in NY. But I am also truly terrified. We don't have much in common: I don't understand how someone could watch college sports and enjoy it, and he doesn't understand why someone would want to watch Project Runway. At least with my sister coming, he'll have someone to talk to about mortgage rates, while I'll have someone to make fart noises with.
Now my only concern is where I'm going to fit everyone. My sister is also bringing her boyfriend (another sports fiend.) Lord knows where I'll be living come July, but hopefully there's enough room for everyone. Because the point of my sister coming for a visit is too make everything less awkward... not more awkward by forcing us to all spoon together in my bed.
Friday, April 11, 2008
DAY 206: The Morning Show.
I can't believe I packed my lunch for tomorrow, the night before. I can't believe it's only 12:04am and I'm about to go to bed. I can't believe I still have tonight's 30 Rock and Step It Up & Dance in my DVR and I'm consciously choosing not to watch them until tomorrow!!!
Tomorrow I have to be to work at 8am, and not a minute late. The last time I was supposed to be to work early and in a timely fashion, I slept in and was three hours late.
This is how my morning usually goes:
Wake up and turn off cellphone alarm.
Wake up, climb out of bed, hit snooze on alarm-alarm.
Wake up, climb out of bed, hit snooze on alarm-alarm.
Wake up, climb out of bed, turn off alarm-alarm.
Check e-mail.
Pee.
Shower.
Look in the mirror and ask myself if I really have to be clean shaven today.
Shave.
Have a bowl of Trader Joe's granola.
Swallow horse-pill multivitamin.
Check e-mail.
Finish blog post from the night before.
Look at clock and realize I should be leaving in 15 minutes.
Facebook, EW.com, Manhunt, more e-mail.
Poop.
Look at clock and realize I should be leaving right now.
Play whatever song I'm currently obsessed with on iPod.
Change into work clothes.
Make sure my hair looks okay.
Brush teeth.
Look at clock and realize I should have left 15 minutes ago.
Pack lunch.
Check e-mail one last time.
Leave.
This routine usually gets me to work about 30 minutes late.
And somehow, even with the preemptive steps I've taken tonight, I'm sure I'll still manage to be late tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have to be to work at 8am, and not a minute late. The last time I was supposed to be to work early and in a timely fashion, I slept in and was three hours late.
This is how my morning usually goes:
Wake up and turn off cellphone alarm.
Wake up, climb out of bed, hit snooze on alarm-alarm.
Wake up, climb out of bed, hit snooze on alarm-alarm.
Wake up, climb out of bed, turn off alarm-alarm.
Check e-mail.
Pee.
Shower.
Look in the mirror and ask myself if I really have to be clean shaven today.
Shave.
Have a bowl of Trader Joe's granola.
Swallow horse-pill multivitamin.
Check e-mail.
Finish blog post from the night before.
Look at clock and realize I should be leaving in 15 minutes.
Facebook, EW.com, Manhunt, more e-mail.
Poop.
Look at clock and realize I should be leaving right now.
Play whatever song I'm currently obsessed with on iPod.
Change into work clothes.
Make sure my hair looks okay.
Brush teeth.
Look at clock and realize I should have left 15 minutes ago.
Pack lunch.
Check e-mail one last time.
Leave.
This routine usually gets me to work about 30 minutes late.
And somehow, even with the preemptive steps I've taken tonight, I'm sure I'll still manage to be late tomorrow.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
DAY 205: Four Quickies.
1. This morning I gave up my seat on the A train for a mother and child. Bitch didn't thank me. I shot her dirty looks in between Sudoku puzzles. (Yes, I've turned into a Sudoku person. It's my secret shame.)
2. When I got to Starbucks for my morning Misto, the barista was cooing over some stupid baby in front of me. She took my order, but then started ringing up the customers behind me. When my drink was up, I took it and ran. I give Starbucks $2.55 Monday through Friday, I think I deserve a freebie every once in awhile. Also, I considered it karmic payback for my thankless act of giving up my seat on the subway this morning.
3. Today at work I had the misfortune of hearing my female co-worker (the one that I can't stand) utter the phrase "panties off." Chunks were rising. They still are.
4. Tonight for our weekly Wednesday Night TV Dinner Club, I made a creamy shrimp and pasta dish. It was a semi-complicated dish that involved boiling, frying, and baking. I was really surprised at how well it turned out. However, I had also eaten 1/4 of a pot cookie, and everything tastes better when slightly stone. Take for example our dessert: Brownie Sundaes. Mmmmm.
2. When I got to Starbucks for my morning Misto, the barista was cooing over some stupid baby in front of me. She took my order, but then started ringing up the customers behind me. When my drink was up, I took it and ran. I give Starbucks $2.55 Monday through Friday, I think I deserve a freebie every once in awhile. Also, I considered it karmic payback for my thankless act of giving up my seat on the subway this morning.
3. Today at work I had the misfortune of hearing my female co-worker (the one that I can't stand) utter the phrase "panties off." Chunks were rising. They still are.
4. Tonight for our weekly Wednesday Night TV Dinner Club, I made a creamy shrimp and pasta dish. It was a semi-complicated dish that involved boiling, frying, and baking. I was really surprised at how well it turned out. However, I had also eaten 1/4 of a pot cookie, and everything tastes better when slightly stone. Take for example our dessert: Brownie Sundaes. Mmmmm.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
DAY 204: Touch My Booty?
Tonight I partook in one of the gayest moments in my life. While waiting for the subway, Jeffrey and I got in a heated debate over the lyrics of Ms. Mariah Carey's hot new single "Touch My Body." I did not believe him that the following lyrics were in the song:
Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
To settle our dispute, we both got out our iPods, synced up the song, and hit play at the exact same time. So, if you were on a Brooklyn-bound C train last night around 10pm, you might have seen two fags simultaneously rocking out to Mariah, and one of them (Jeffrey), actually touching his body. GAY!
Go ahead, touch my booty.
This one's for you Jeffrey... who's currently (and surprisingly) more obsessed with M.C. than I am:
Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
To settle our dispute, we both got out our iPods, synced up the song, and hit play at the exact same time. So, if you were on a Brooklyn-bound C train last night around 10pm, you might have seen two fags simultaneously rocking out to Mariah, and one of them (Jeffrey), actually touching his body. GAY!
Go ahead, touch my booty.
This one's for you Jeffrey... who's currently (and surprisingly) more obsessed with M.C. than I am:
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
DAY 203: Crack Muffins.
Today I had a very productive day. After work, I braved the crowded aisles of Trader Joe's and did my weekly grocery shopping. Once I put all my groceries away, it was laundry time. And after my clothes were Downy fresh and folded with care, I decided to make muffins. I don't know where all of this extra energy came from, but I feel like my mother on crack.
While my muffins were baking (banana with chocolate chip and dried cranberries) I came across a dilemma. Do I selfishly keep my muffins at home for myself? Or do I bring them to work and risk having my co-workers think that I did something nice for them? On one hand, I do not need to eat an entire tray of muffins by myself. But on the other, I really don't want my co-workers thinking I've gone soft. Although, I did accidentally use Grade A eggs, rather than Grade AA. And Jeffrey said that Grade A has more bacteria... so maybe I could get some of my co-workers sick.
However, once I tasted how delicious my muffins were, my decision was made. Fuck my co-workers. I'm keeping them for myself... and for Jeffrey... but hopefully not for the mice that like to raid our kitchen late at night.
(P.S. Is it just me, or did it sound really perverted when I said, "I tasted how delicious my muffins were?")
Anycrap, I'm off to bed early now. Tomorrow I'm getting up an hour earlier than usual, to work on my one-man show before work. I'm telling ya: Crack attack!
While my muffins were baking (banana with chocolate chip and dried cranberries) I came across a dilemma. Do I selfishly keep my muffins at home for myself? Or do I bring them to work and risk having my co-workers think that I did something nice for them? On one hand, I do not need to eat an entire tray of muffins by myself. But on the other, I really don't want my co-workers thinking I've gone soft. Although, I did accidentally use Grade A eggs, rather than Grade AA. And Jeffrey said that Grade A has more bacteria... so maybe I could get some of my co-workers sick.
However, once I tasted how delicious my muffins were, my decision was made. Fuck my co-workers. I'm keeping them for myself... and for Jeffrey... but hopefully not for the mice that like to raid our kitchen late at night.
(P.S. Is it just me, or did it sound really perverted when I said, "I tasted how delicious my muffins were?")
Anycrap, I'm off to bed early now. Tomorrow I'm getting up an hour earlier than usual, to work on my one-man show before work. I'm telling ya: Crack attack!
Monday, April 07, 2008
DAY 202: Easily Distracted.
Today was going to be a big writing day for me. I tried to work on my one man show, but I forgot how hard it is for me to write without a deadline looming over my head.
So instead, I found many aways to distract myself with my computer:
1. Facebook. I adopted a puppy! His name is Stanley and he's a Miniature Schnauzer. His likes are getting in to trouble and reality TV, and he dislike are cats and babies. Isn't he adorable?
2. iTunes. I have a love/hate relationship with Kayne. I hate him, but I love this song:
3. Netflix. Now that I actually have cable, I have to play catch up with BSG: Season 3, so that I can watch Season 4 in time with everyone else and not have to worry about major plot points being spoiled. Nerdy, huh?
So instead, I found many aways to distract myself with my computer:
1. Facebook. I adopted a puppy! His name is Stanley and he's a Miniature Schnauzer. His likes are getting in to trouble and reality TV, and he dislike are cats and babies. Isn't he adorable?
2. iTunes. I have a love/hate relationship with Kayne. I hate him, but I love this song:
3. Netflix. Now that I actually have cable, I have to play catch up with BSG: Season 3, so that I can watch Season 4 in time with everyone else and not have to worry about major plot points being spoiled. Nerdy, huh?
Sunday, April 06, 2008
DAY 201: Backyard Blues.
Okay, I know I just posted yesterday about how I should stop bitching about work, money and my apartment. So please don't look at this as bitching. Instead, I'm just stating how I feel...
Today, on this beautiful spring day, my upstairs neighbors began planting in our garden out front. Seeing this made me very, very sad that we will be moving out sometime soon in the coming months.
I have a backyard!!! But I can't do anything with it. Well, I can, but it's useless to put time and money into something that I won't be around to enjoy.
Our backyard is in desperate need of a makeover. And I love makeovers! I had so many plans for that backyard. Here's what I'm sadly going to be missing out on:
*Vegetable Garden. I wanted to plant carrots, cucumbers, green beans and tomatoes. Think of the salads I would have had!
*Grilling Parties. A hot summer night. Hamburgers, wieners, and veggie burgers on the grill. Corn on the cob. Grilled asparagus. Brewskies. Sangria. Will Smith's Summertime playing in the background.
*Mojito Party! I wanted to have a Friday afternoon party where all of my friends ditched work early, or called in sick and came over to my backyard to sit in the sun and drink mojitos. It would have been the kind of party where you're drunk by dinnertime and in bed by 10pm.
*Sun Tanning. This was going to be the summer that I was finally going to get rid of the farmer's tan that I've had for 28 years. My room is right next to the backyard, so I was gonna put some Dolly on my iPod, crack open the windows, and go lay out in the sun for hours.
Wow, our first nice spring day... and I'm depressed.
Today, on this beautiful spring day, my upstairs neighbors began planting in our garden out front. Seeing this made me very, very sad that we will be moving out sometime soon in the coming months.
I have a backyard!!! But I can't do anything with it. Well, I can, but it's useless to put time and money into something that I won't be around to enjoy.
Our backyard is in desperate need of a makeover. And I love makeovers! I had so many plans for that backyard. Here's what I'm sadly going to be missing out on:
*Vegetable Garden. I wanted to plant carrots, cucumbers, green beans and tomatoes. Think of the salads I would have had!
*Grilling Parties. A hot summer night. Hamburgers, wieners, and veggie burgers on the grill. Corn on the cob. Grilled asparagus. Brewskies. Sangria. Will Smith's Summertime playing in the background.
*Mojito Party! I wanted to have a Friday afternoon party where all of my friends ditched work early, or called in sick and came over to my backyard to sit in the sun and drink mojitos. It would have been the kind of party where you're drunk by dinnertime and in bed by 10pm.
*Sun Tanning. This was going to be the summer that I was finally going to get rid of the farmer's tan that I've had for 28 years. My room is right next to the backyard, so I was gonna put some Dolly on my iPod, crack open the windows, and go lay out in the sun for hours.
Wow, our first nice spring day... and I'm depressed.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
DAY 200: It's All Good.
Tonight, I was going to start blogging about how much work sucked today. But then I realized, I bitch enough about work. I also bitch enough about my financial crises and the unfortunate state of our apartment.
So tonight, let's look on the sunnyside for a change. No, no, no more drama.
Yes, work sucks. But you know what doesn't? My paycheck. Also, I've worked there long enough now to manipulate my way into setting my own schedule and showing up however late I want without ever suffering any consequences. On top of that, I was able to finagle myself a few extra vacation days by being a bitch and threatening to quit.
Yes, being poor sucks. Except that I'm not actually poor. I have enough extra money to spend it on frivolous things. So in choosing to do so, I can't call myself poor. Instead, I can call myself lucky. Not everyone has enough money to support addictions to American Apparel, iTunes and Bed, Bath & Beyond. (P.S. I am loving my new muffin tin!) I've been much, much broker before. At least I don't owe anyone money, or have to sell my body to pay the bills.
Yes, the current state of my apartment sucks. But you know what, it's still my apartment. My style, my things, my kitsch. I have never felt more at home in New York. I have an awesome roommate, my BFF's come over every Wednesday night, and my Judy Garland records watch over me as I sleep. Sure, the place is slowly falling apart... but I'm currently living there rent free. Seems like a pretty fair trade off to me.
There, now don't we all feel warm and fuzzy inside?
Seriously though, although I may bitch about a lot of things... I'm pretty happy with my life right now. And I have a good feeling that things are only gonna get better from here on out.
:)
So tonight, let's look on the sunnyside for a change. No, no, no more drama.
Yes, work sucks. But you know what doesn't? My paycheck. Also, I've worked there long enough now to manipulate my way into setting my own schedule and showing up however late I want without ever suffering any consequences. On top of that, I was able to finagle myself a few extra vacation days by being a bitch and threatening to quit.
Yes, being poor sucks. Except that I'm not actually poor. I have enough extra money to spend it on frivolous things. So in choosing to do so, I can't call myself poor. Instead, I can call myself lucky. Not everyone has enough money to support addictions to American Apparel, iTunes and Bed, Bath & Beyond. (P.S. I am loving my new muffin tin!) I've been much, much broker before. At least I don't owe anyone money, or have to sell my body to pay the bills.
Yes, the current state of my apartment sucks. But you know what, it's still my apartment. My style, my things, my kitsch. I have never felt more at home in New York. I have an awesome roommate, my BFF's come over every Wednesday night, and my Judy Garland records watch over me as I sleep. Sure, the place is slowly falling apart... but I'm currently living there rent free. Seems like a pretty fair trade off to me.
There, now don't we all feel warm and fuzzy inside?
Seriously though, although I may bitch about a lot of things... I'm pretty happy with my life right now. And I have a good feeling that things are only gonna get better from here on out.
:)
Friday, April 04, 2008
DAY 199: Momma Needs Her Pills!
If you live in NY, and you have yet to see this play, please go buy your tickets right now. I'm dead serious. Did you buy them yet? Well, what are you waiting for?I've seen a lot of good shows over the past couple of years (Sweeney Todd, Spring Awakening, Gypsy.) But the last time I saw a show this amazing was probably seven years ago when I went to London during college and saw Merrily We Roll Along at the Donmar, and the RSC's Henry VI Trilogy.
Seeing this show made me glad I had given up playwriting. Because if I thought I still wanted to write plays, and then I saw this, I would be so jealous and discouraged, knowing that I could never even come close to the brilliance of this show.
When I did write plays, they normally had a crazy mother character (which gave my mom a complex.) The crazy mother in this masterpiece is a pill popping, modern day version of Ms. Judy Garland herself, minus the showbiz. She even sorta looks like Judes:
Seriously, I can not say enough good things about this show.
GO. BUY. YOUR. TICKET. NOW.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
DAY 198: The Joke's On Me.
I know Monday I April Fooled about tonight being my last dinner before my (fake) 30 Day Master Cleanse Journey. But tonight, I really did eat like it was my last meal.
My food feast began at work. Just because I don't like most of my my co-workers doesn't mean that I'm not going to eat their birthday cake! It had been a crazy busy day, so of course I decided to stress eat a gianormous piece of Oreo cake.
As you may know, Wednesday night is TV/Food Night at the Kennedy-Marx household. But since work was so busy, I couldn't sneak out early to come home and prepare a healthy, well-balanced meal. So instead, we ordered in Chinese food. Jeannie and I split an order of rice with veggies and tofu. And no, veggies dripping in grease don't really count as being veggies anymore.
For desert (because there's always desert at my house), I used my new impulse-buy-muffin-pan to make cupcakes! Lady R also had brought Cookies & Cream ice cream. And since I hadn't had an Oreo in at least 4 hours, it ate that too.
So, just to review:
PLUS
PLUS
PLUS
EQUALS
AND
AND
AND
My food feast began at work. Just because I don't like most of my my co-workers doesn't mean that I'm not going to eat their birthday cake! It had been a crazy busy day, so of course I decided to stress eat a gianormous piece of Oreo cake.
As you may know, Wednesday night is TV/Food Night at the Kennedy-Marx household. But since work was so busy, I couldn't sneak out early to come home and prepare a healthy, well-balanced meal. So instead, we ordered in Chinese food. Jeannie and I split an order of rice with veggies and tofu. And no, veggies dripping in grease don't really count as being veggies anymore.
For desert (because there's always desert at my house), I used my new impulse-buy-muffin-pan to make cupcakes! Lady R also had brought Cookies & Cream ice cream. And since I hadn't had an Oreo in at least 4 hours, it ate that too.
So, just to review:
PLUS
PLUS
PLUS
EQUALS
AND
AND
AND
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
DAY 197: April Fool's Day, Bitches!
Okay, I'm sure I didn't really fool anyone, but just in case you didn't figure it out, I was totally J/K-ing about going back on the Master Cleanse. Not that I would never do it again... but certainly not for 30 days!My real N.M.P. (New Monthly Project) is to finish writing my one person show. It's actually pretty close to being done. Right now I have about 4 solid monologues. I just have to bang out 2 or 3 more and then polish everything and make it work.
In other news, now that my N.M.P. for March is over, I'm back to spending money frivolously. After work I hit up Bed, Bath & Beyond for a quick shopping fix. My intent was to just buy a cheap black frame for the artwork I made at MaryLand, but somehow I ended up walking out of there with 12 wine glasses (for only $10!), tea candles, a muffin pan, and a giant teddy bear container full of animal crackers.
The good news is that I had a $25 giftcard left over from Christmas, so a portion of my spending was justified. The bad news is that I still ended up spending money on things I don't really need. (Yes, I'm talking to you, muffin pan.)
Thankfully, I couldn't do too much damage in B,B&B as I had to rush home for Dolly Night on American Idol!!!
In case you're wondering (probably not, though) I only ended up voting for my two standbys (Brook and Carly.) But really, I thought that everyone did a wonderful job on Ms. Dolly's masterpieces (except of course Ramiele and Robo-Kristy.)
Of course, this means that come Thursday, I will be partaking in even more unnecessary spending, when all of their songs become available on iTunes.
Old habits die hard. Or in some cases, they never die at all.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
DAY 196: NMP: April!
I'm totally getting into having a New Monthly Project each month.
February was Date Month. March was Save Money Month. (Don't ask about my taxes... my dad was no help. As of now, I'm still in the red.)
For April, I'm looking to improve my health. Last week I stepped on the scale for the first time in many a moon, and I was shocked to see that I have gained most of my pre-Master Cleanse weight back.
Now, I know the M.C. isn't supposed to be used as a method of weight loss. It's supposed to kick your ass in to eating healthier. And I would say that ever since doing the M.C. my eating habits have changed for the better. I cook for myself all the time now. I've added a lot more fruits and vegetables to my diet.
But recently, I've started getting careless about my junk food intake. Why just this morning, to make up for being late to work, I bought a bag of Recess Peanut Butter Cups for me and my my co-worker (the one I actually like) to share. I know it may not seem like a lot, but it's the little stuff that starts to add up.
So, in order to nip this junk food junk in the bud, I've decided to go on the Master Cleanse again. I know, I know... I can hardly believe it myself. I promised myself I would never put my body through all that shitting again. But, I always love a good challenge and it will give me something to blog about.
The last time I did Le Cleanse, it was for 10 days. This time, I'm steppin' it up and aiming for a 30 day shitfest. My last meal is going to be this Wednesday with Jeffrey, Jeannie and A. Rod. After that, it's back to lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper.
Mmmmm.... I'm getting thirsty already.
In related news, my friend Cody has started a new weight loss blog. He's hilarious and you should check it out. I've listed him under my "Blog Friends," or you can just click here for the link.
February was Date Month. March was Save Money Month. (Don't ask about my taxes... my dad was no help. As of now, I'm still in the red.)
For April, I'm looking to improve my health. Last week I stepped on the scale for the first time in many a moon, and I was shocked to see that I have gained most of my pre-Master Cleanse weight back.
Now, I know the M.C. isn't supposed to be used as a method of weight loss. It's supposed to kick your ass in to eating healthier. And I would say that ever since doing the M.C. my eating habits have changed for the better. I cook for myself all the time now. I've added a lot more fruits and vegetables to my diet.
But recently, I've started getting careless about my junk food intake. Why just this morning, to make up for being late to work, I bought a bag of Recess Peanut Butter Cups for me and my my co-worker (the one I actually like) to share. I know it may not seem like a lot, but it's the little stuff that starts to add up.
So, in order to nip this junk food junk in the bud, I've decided to go on the Master Cleanse again. I know, I know... I can hardly believe it myself. I promised myself I would never put my body through all that shitting again. But, I always love a good challenge and it will give me something to blog about.
The last time I did Le Cleanse, it was for 10 days. This time, I'm steppin' it up and aiming for a 30 day shitfest. My last meal is going to be this Wednesday with Jeffrey, Jeannie and A. Rod. After that, it's back to lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper.
Mmmmm.... I'm getting thirsty already.
In related news, my friend Cody has started a new weight loss blog. He's hilarious and you should check it out. I've listed him under my "Blog Friends," or you can just click here for the link.
Monday, March 31, 2008
DAY 195: Financial Freakout.
Tonight, one night before my self-imposed deadline, I sat down to finally do my taxes. I was very excited about seeing how much money I was going to get back.
Usually (I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this) my dad does my taxes. Last year was that first year I did them all on my own, and it wasn't even that hard. Thanks Turbo Tax!
This year seemed like it would be even easier since Turbo T. remembered all of my information. I thought I would be able to breeze right through it, punching in some numbers and hitting the "next" button over and over. It didn't matter that I was watching Cannibal the Musical with Jeffrey, Jeannie and A.Rod, and that I had eaten a 1/4 of a pot cookie, right?
Well, when I got to the end, the little box that last year had a three digit green number that started with an 8, now had a red number. Why is it red, and why does it only start with a two? That can't be right. Wait, why is it asking if I want to pay by check or credit card? WHAT????????? I OWE MONEY???????????
This has to be some sort of mistake. I never owe money on my taxes. I mean, come on, taxes already take almost 1/3 of my paycheck, there is no way that they are coming after me for more, right? RIGHT???
So now I am freaking out and I don't know what to do. If I don't get any money back I will be very, very upset.
Looks like I'll be calling my dad tomorrow, and once again, asking him to (re)do my taxes.
Usually (I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this) my dad does my taxes. Last year was that first year I did them all on my own, and it wasn't even that hard. Thanks Turbo Tax!
This year seemed like it would be even easier since Turbo T. remembered all of my information. I thought I would be able to breeze right through it, punching in some numbers and hitting the "next" button over and over. It didn't matter that I was watching Cannibal the Musical with Jeffrey, Jeannie and A.Rod, and that I had eaten a 1/4 of a pot cookie, right?
Well, when I got to the end, the little box that last year had a three digit green number that started with an 8, now had a red number. Why is it red, and why does it only start with a two? That can't be right. Wait, why is it asking if I want to pay by check or credit card? WHAT????????? I OWE MONEY???????????
This has to be some sort of mistake. I never owe money on my taxes. I mean, come on, taxes already take almost 1/3 of my paycheck, there is no way that they are coming after me for more, right? RIGHT???
So now I am freaking out and I don't know what to do. If I don't get any money back I will be very, very upset.
Looks like I'll be calling my dad tomorrow, and once again, asking him to (re)do my taxes.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
DAY 194: Strange Passings.
This morning was supposed to be my first Saturday working my new Mon-Tues, Thurs-Sat schedule.
Last night, after a few brewskies and a vigorous game of Celebrity with Jeffrey's friends, I was so tired that, although I managed to set my alarm, I never turned it on.
I was supposed to be to work at 9am. I didn't wake up until 10:45am when my co-workers finally texted me, asking me if I was alive.
As if my normal routine wasn't already thrown off-kilter enough by having to work a Saturday, I was now also three hours late.
Really, it was the perfect beginning for an an odd day that ended up being filled with strange happenings, including:
*As I was rushing up 8th Ave to get to work, some random guy leaned into me as I passed by him and whispered, "Nice pants." He definitely wasn't gay, so I know he wasn't hitting on me. And I was just wearing my normal Levi Slim Straights, so I doubt he was actually impressed by my pants. My only other two thoughts was that he was either trying to sell me drugs, or that he was an undercover agent and he mistook me for his contact. Man, he must have been awfully confused when I didn't turn around and whisper back to him, "The eagle flies high over the Hudson River."
*Tonight I went and saw my dear Shalisha in a reading of an Alan Ayckbourn play. It was at Gentlemen's Club on the East Side that was full of stuffy old men in tweed jackets and their long, dangly-necklace-wearing wives. Seriously, everyone looked like retired professors and I'm pretty sure that the smell of mouth balls permeated through out the room. I felt quite underdressed in my jeans, which has been a reoccurring theme in my life lately. The play itself was not bad, except it was a bit strange to see my sweet, innocent, cherubic Sha, stuck in a love triangle with two men who are definitely eligible for the senior discount at Dennys. Woof!
*This is more annoying than strange, but on my way home tonight, it took me 45 minutes to get from Union Square to Lorimer on the g.d. L train. (For all you non-New Yorkers, they're only 4 stops apart.) What sort of mystery track work is going on and 12:15am on a Saturday night, is beyond me.
Last night, after a few brewskies and a vigorous game of Celebrity with Jeffrey's friends, I was so tired that, although I managed to set my alarm, I never turned it on.
I was supposed to be to work at 9am. I didn't wake up until 10:45am when my co-workers finally texted me, asking me if I was alive.
As if my normal routine wasn't already thrown off-kilter enough by having to work a Saturday, I was now also three hours late.
Really, it was the perfect beginning for an an odd day that ended up being filled with strange happenings, including:
*As I was rushing up 8th Ave to get to work, some random guy leaned into me as I passed by him and whispered, "Nice pants." He definitely wasn't gay, so I know he wasn't hitting on me. And I was just wearing my normal Levi Slim Straights, so I doubt he was actually impressed by my pants. My only other two thoughts was that he was either trying to sell me drugs, or that he was an undercover agent and he mistook me for his contact. Man, he must have been awfully confused when I didn't turn around and whisper back to him, "The eagle flies high over the Hudson River."
*Tonight I went and saw my dear Shalisha in a reading of an Alan Ayckbourn play. It was at Gentlemen's Club on the East Side that was full of stuffy old men in tweed jackets and their long, dangly-necklace-wearing wives. Seriously, everyone looked like retired professors and I'm pretty sure that the smell of mouth balls permeated through out the room. I felt quite underdressed in my jeans, which has been a reoccurring theme in my life lately. The play itself was not bad, except it was a bit strange to see my sweet, innocent, cherubic Sha, stuck in a love triangle with two men who are definitely eligible for the senior discount at Dennys. Woof!
*This is more annoying than strange, but on my way home tonight, it took me 45 minutes to get from Union Square to Lorimer on the g.d. L train. (For all you non-New Yorkers, they're only 4 stops apart.) What sort of mystery track work is going on and 12:15am on a Saturday night, is beyond me.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
DAY 193: A Savings Plan.
Today a miracle occurred, I opened up a savings account. I've only had a savings account twice in my life before.
My first savings account, I started when I was in high school. I used to be very good with money. Besides baby sitting, I also started a lawn mowing service on my block. I hated moving the lawn. More than anything. But I loved making money.
By the time I went off to college I think I probably had about $1,000 in savings. However, I blew that Freshman year when I went off to Ecuador for a month. After that, any financial responsibility I previously had, was out the window. I became one of those people who thought balancing their checkbook, meant getting a receipt from the ATM machine.
After college, instead of having a savings account, I transferred all of my money to the bank of Mom & Dad. I owed them for car and college payments. Thank god they didn't charge interest.
My second savings account I opened once I was out of debt. I was working yet another job I hated, at yet another pharmacy. I told myself I couldn't quit my job until after I had $5,000 saved up. That $5,000 was also going to be my money for moving to New York.
After I had the money saved up, and after I quit my job, I still stuck it out in Minneapolis for another year. During that time I work worked at a coffee shop, a cafe, and was unemployed for a few months. And even though my rent was ridiculously cheap at the time ($285!), I was forced to dip into my savings.
When I moved to NY, I only had about $3,000 left. But luckily, that was just enough to keep me afloat until I got settled. Now, for the past 2.5 years, I'm not exactly sure what I have been spending my money on. But at least I know I've had a lot of fun doing it.
However, it's now time to put a stop to that. I'm finding myself at a point in my life where I want to make a big change again. I want to quit my job and try to start to support myself as a writer. But before I make that leap, I want my safety net of money to catch me if I fall.
My goal was to quit my job before my next birthday. At first I told myself $5,000 would be enough. But considering I live in NY, and pay almost 3x's the rent, I feel like maybe that 5 should be a 10. $10,000 is six months? I'm gonna have to suck a lot of dick for that.
And actually, the only reason I was able to open up a savings account right now, is because Jeffrey and I have stopped paying rent.
Hopefully, a few more months rent-free + tax refund + 3 pay period in May = $5,000 by summer.
But how I'm going to get that next $5,000 is beyond me. That's gonna take quite a few more miracles.
My first savings account, I started when I was in high school. I used to be very good with money. Besides baby sitting, I also started a lawn mowing service on my block. I hated moving the lawn. More than anything. But I loved making money.
By the time I went off to college I think I probably had about $1,000 in savings. However, I blew that Freshman year when I went off to Ecuador for a month. After that, any financial responsibility I previously had, was out the window. I became one of those people who thought balancing their checkbook, meant getting a receipt from the ATM machine.
After college, instead of having a savings account, I transferred all of my money to the bank of Mom & Dad. I owed them for car and college payments. Thank god they didn't charge interest.
My second savings account I opened once I was out of debt. I was working yet another job I hated, at yet another pharmacy. I told myself I couldn't quit my job until after I had $5,000 saved up. That $5,000 was also going to be my money for moving to New York.
After I had the money saved up, and after I quit my job, I still stuck it out in Minneapolis for another year. During that time I work worked at a coffee shop, a cafe, and was unemployed for a few months. And even though my rent was ridiculously cheap at the time ($285!), I was forced to dip into my savings.
When I moved to NY, I only had about $3,000 left. But luckily, that was just enough to keep me afloat until I got settled. Now, for the past 2.5 years, I'm not exactly sure what I have been spending my money on. But at least I know I've had a lot of fun doing it.
However, it's now time to put a stop to that. I'm finding myself at a point in my life where I want to make a big change again. I want to quit my job and try to start to support myself as a writer. But before I make that leap, I want my safety net of money to catch me if I fall.
My goal was to quit my job before my next birthday. At first I told myself $5,000 would be enough. But considering I live in NY, and pay almost 3x's the rent, I feel like maybe that 5 should be a 10. $10,000 is six months? I'm gonna have to suck a lot of dick for that.
And actually, the only reason I was able to open up a savings account right now, is because Jeffrey and I have stopped paying rent.
Hopefully, a few more months rent-free + tax refund + 3 pay period in May = $5,000 by summer.
But how I'm going to get that next $5,000 is beyond me. That's gonna take quite a few more miracles.
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